Parents, here’s how you can help your teens as they begin a new year

Photo above of students at North Allegheny High School working hard on their midterm for AP U.S. History courtesy of Sammi Heikinen.

The start of a new year can be a very exciting time, as people write resolutions and set goals. But as a high school junior here in Pittsburgh, I want to shine a light on the struggles that the new year can sometimes bring for high schoolers. The start of January doesn’t always hold excitement. In fact, it can be one of the most stressful times of the school year.

WHY THIS IS A ROUGH SEASON
Many of us are overloaded with school work. We have no more long breaks ahead until springtime. We’re in the desert of midterms and the looming AP season can be very scary, dampening students’ spirits. This is usually when some students start to heavily experience mental health struggles, as they gear up for weeks of long tests. Some already begin worrying about doing well on finals and AP exams.

Grades start to get tighter, as we are entering the last half of the school year. Free time starts to disappear. This can lead to lower levels of motivation to participate in social settings. Exhaustion leads to fewer efforts in school.

WHAT YOU MIGHT SEE
Parents may see their teens start to become slightly more irritable or not as talkative as usual. This usually comes from burnout. If teens aren’t sure how to communicate about this, parents may put on additional pressure because they want their child to behave well and succeed. This pressure from parents can be very discouraging to a student who is already struggling. Personally, I have always experienced lower levels of motivation and higher levels of burnout when winter break ends.

Recently, I started to have conversations with other students about this. Below are some of their responses.

A high schooler named Sarah shared this with me: “I feel like when it starts to head into December/January, a lot of teachers kind of jam pack tests and projects, while students are looking forward to breaks and feel a false sense of safety. Honestly, I know I feel so burned out. So I focus on enjoying my break instead of doing my work, and I get behind and stressed and all that.”

Many other students had similar responses, specifically emphasizing the burnout they feel during this season and the decreased level of mental and physical energy they have.

“The stress is so bad, but my parents don’t know and usually get upset with me for not doing well even though I’m trying my best,” another student told me. “I wish they would try to understand the amount of work that I have and support me even when I’m not doing the best, because that’s when I need it the most.”

HOW YOU CAN HELP
There are many things parents can do to help lighten their kids’ mental load.

Sarah suggests that parents consider incentivizing their students, giving them something to look forward to.

Parents might say, “If you finish all of your homework by whatever date, we can go out and do fun things together,’ such as go ice skating or have dinner in a restaurant,” Sarah says. “I really value spending time with my family, and my parents offering to do fun activities would help lighten my mood a lot.”

Cynthia, a current junior in high school, said that even small treats like a snack can make a big difference.

Varshini, also a junior, said that celebrating small wins can also help: “I wish my parents would be more supportive when I tell them an accomplishment, like doing well on a test,” she says.

Parents, here’s the good news: Big gestures are not necessary; little thoughtful things can really change how teens feel. Going on a walk or congratulating them on doing well can really give them the motivation and energy to keep going through the year strong.

In my experience, it helps me to look forward to activities that I can do on the weekends in my free time. The overload of academic schoolwork leads me to exhaustion, and too often I stay holed up in my house on the weekend. However, getting outside and doing something simple — like taking a walk with my family — makes me feel much better.

I know my parents can’t take my school load off, but they can help decrease my stress by offering support.

Many teens are entering the new year feeling academic pressure and mental stress. Please know that acknowledging the stress they’re going through and offering a helping hand can make a world of difference!