Club Hope is a powerful resource for kids who are mourning a loved one

Photo above of Club Hope students courtesy of KDKA-TV.

One of the hardest things a child can experience is the death of a parent or sibling. When local teacher Lisa Tolliver Lehman lost her husband to cancer when her two kids were in elementary school, she started a group at her school for grieving children. It’s called Club Hope, and the impact it’s having on kids is life-changing.

When you enter Lehman’s classroom at Moon Area Middle School, you can’t help but feel at home. The soft lighting, relaxed atmosphere and warm vibes are comforting. Club Hope holds bi-monthly meetings after school where grief brings the kids together, but the activities that lead to conversations and connections keep them coming back.

“My main goal is to make sure that they never feel alone in their grief,” Lehman says.

Lehman’s husband, Mike, died in 2016 from prostate cancer when he was 46. Their son, Teddy, helped create Club Hope. Teddy is now in college, but still joins Club Hope gatherings in person or over Zoom.

“When you’re that young and you lose someone,” Teddy says, that kind of loss is rarely happening to any other kids around you. “We made Club Hope to try and, you know, make people feel welcome and that they’re not alone and that there’s other people going through this journey with them.”

Teddy’s friend, Braden Winters, also helped create Club Hope and is now a college mentor. Braden’s father died in 2020 from a brain tumor.

“Whenever I lost my dad, I was alone,” Braden says. “I was, like, the only child going through it, and it’s just very hard to go through alone, and I would never want any kid to not be able to have someone to talk to about all this.”

Braden’s mother, Kendra White, has seen the positive impact of Club Hope.

“Counseling is great, but I feel like (Club Hope) gave them that peer-to-peer connection that they’re helping each other,” White says. “They’re sometimes not saying anything at all and doing crafts together to honor their loved ones.”

In one project, the students cut out pictures from magazines that represent them and their loved one who died. It’s helping eighth grader Connor remember his dad, who died from COVID in 2021.

“He played football,” Connor says, as he shows pictures representing his Dad. “He rode dirt bikes. He liked classic cars. He was a cop, and we always went riding dirt bikes with his friends.”

As students create their crafts, Lehman joins the pieces of paper into a chain symbolizing how they’re all interlinked and are never alone. Many of the Club Hope activities, including making memory boxes and valentines, and planting flowers, are designed to keep the memory of the students’ loved ones at the forefront.

Some of the ideas come from the Highmark Caring Place for grieving children which Lehman says has been an incredible resource for her family and many in the club.

The parents, who have seen their kids struggling, say having Club Hope right at school has helped.

“Keira was really struggling in school and with her peers, completely different than her bubbly personality of what she is,” says parent Alyssa Dixon. “And that made me realize something was wrong.”

Club Hope has helped Keira, along with so many other students.

“It was such a blessing for me and my family, because, you know, he needed something,” says another parent, Brian Smith, whose son is in the club. “He was really hurting. He had a lot of issues.”

Morgan, a Moon High School senior who is a mentor in Club Hope, is glad to be helping younger students.

“These are the rocks I introduced,” Morgan says, showing rocks the students painted that say “Club Hope” and inspirational phrases. Morgan’s grandmother loved painting rocks before she passed away. So introducing the activity to the group allowed Morgan to help others while honoring her grandmother.

Morgan, Teddy and Braden are all mentors who were students in Club Hope and now return to help the younger kids. Instead of directed questions, conversations happen organically in the group whenever a child is ready to talk.

“It’s created a sense of community,” Morgan explains. “Even though we don’t necessarily have to state what we’re feeling, we all know that we’re all here for each other … When you walk in this room, it’s a safe space, and I know that these other people are having the same feelings as me, so it really makes me feel like safe and loved.”

Smith says his son has had that same experience: “Club Hope really gave him a safe place to talk about some things that he couldn’t talk about with me or with other family members. He could sit here with other like-minded kids his age and (they were) able to strengthen each other.”

Lehman has found that helping others helped her and her family.

“It was hard, but I know the one thing that really brought us together as a family, the three of us, was to do some kindness for others,” she says. “That really helped us get through our grief. That’s what we continue to do.”

Lehman’s main goal for wanting to share the story of Club Hope is to inspire more groups like it at other schools, because she knows there are grieving children at every school.

If you’d like to reach Lisa Tolliver Lehman about starting a club, you can email her at
LTolliver-Lehman@moonarea.net. And you can learn more and help support Club Hope right here.